Fifteen months down. Three more to go. All of a sudden I'm having panic attacks and crazy dreams. It is insane how little time I have to go... I don't like it. I love Jamaica, and it pains me to have to think of leaving. I won't lie though, I can't wait to see my family. No matter how long or how little time I am away from them, I miss them with my whole being. It brings many emotions thinking about when I will be able to embrace my parents who have prayed unceasingly for me as I've been away.
Oh fun fact. I've been asked at least four times if Sister Lewis is my daughter. EXSQUEEZE ME? How old do these people think I am? Most people guess anywhere from 25-30. They always look so surprised when I say 21. They say, "But you have such a big, mature body." Awkward... (Especially when men say that haha) But, everyone thinks Sister Lewis is like 14 or 15. We just laugh, all the time.
We talk to a lot of people, get their numbers, and then call them and get the ever popular response, "I'll call you..." YEAH RIGHT. I know you will never call us. I have developed trust issues.
This week we were teaching a police officer, and all of a sudden he's like, "Hold up, my gun is hurting my side.." He then proceeds to switch his gun in his pants to the other side. I was in the middle of explaining something, and I totally got distracted because it was so random to see him trying to adjust a gun underneath his regular clothes. It was just so unexpected, because I had no idea he had a gun on him. He is a pretty cool guy though. He is Pentecostal, but he says he felt like he needed to talk to us. He invited his friend, because he wants his friend to learn more about God. I guess that is a good sign. We just get new investigators, and I don't even know what to think about them these days. We are just diligently searching for someone who is prepared and ready for the Gospel. Everyone is all wishy-washy at this point. I don't mean to sound negative or pessimistic, but it's the truth. I'd rather spend the rest of my mission looking for people to teach who have potential than teaching a bunch of people who are not ready for the Gospel. Plant the seed and move on. I have so little time that it makes no sense to waste it.
Portmore is growing on me. I really miss the country though. People there are generally more respectful and nice. People here have agendas and are sometimes straight up rude. My whole mission I just have figured that smiling really big at people, even if they don't like you, works wonders. Even if they don't want to listen, at least we were nice.
As far as the Gospel goes, I love it. I say that I love it at least five times a day. Ask any of my companions. I'm serious when I say that this is the only church with the fullness. There are so many people who have such a small, in the dark, understanding of God. I just feel like because of the Prophet Joseph Smith, we understand so much. We know the true nature of God. We know the plan of Salvation. I frequently am told by 7th day adventist that I am going to hell because I don't worship on Saturday. Well they don't say that, but it is very much implied. I just laugh inside, because God won't send anyone to hell for that. God is just, but he is also very loving. If we do what is right, if we love those around us, we will have a place with him. Eventually everyone will accept this Gospel. There is nothing else. Many good people from other churches or places will one day come to realize that the fullness of the Gospel includes more saving ordinances than just baptism. They will either obtain this knowledge in this life or the life to come. They will not be damned because they didn't completely understand this doctrine. I'm just glad what we preach is very hopeful and loving. We don't preach, "hell fire, and damnation."
Being a missionary is not easy. It has been the toughest thing in my life, thus far. I have had many struggles. Some have been emotional, many have been spiritual. But, it was all worth it. Every drop of sweat, or every tear shed, was worth it. I reflect on Jesus Christ, and his atoning drops of blood. That was worth it. I will never take the Savior for granted. His suffering and anguish was a million times more difficult than my minor feelings or doubt or insecurities. He has paid the price, and I hope that my time here has helped repay my enormous debt to him. How grateful I am for my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Love you all, forever and ever,Sister Pitt
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