As a missionary, I feel the responsibility to be completely honest and honorable in all of my dealings. With that being said, I will not lie about how this last week went... I think I had a midlife crisis, or went through some kind of bi-polar depression phase. I know what you are all thinking, "That Caressa, she is so dramatic..." The statement, "when it rains, it pours", has never been more true. I think every single day for the past two weeks I have been thinking, "Well, it can't get any worse." And, then it does. Something new comes a long and presents itself. Sister Woolf seems to be on the same page, and we've both had emotional breakdowns. You know, sobbing, curled up in a ball, and questioning our existence...
Despite all of that, I am still happy.
I got a blessing from Elder Fowkes (an Elder in my district) on Wednesday because I needed one, bad. I think the first thing he said was that Heavenly Father is aware of everything I am going through. As soon as he spoke those words, I immediately started tearing up. I just felt surrounded by peace and love. I wish I could remember what else he was prompted to say, but the blessing really helped me feel better.
All I've eaten all week is a banana for breakfast, carrots and peppers for lunch, and healthy choice soup for dinner. I am really sick of eating food. I've reached my limit. If we ate a members house, that is all I would eat for the entire day. So, yeah, I feel much better this week, tummy wise. I wasn't even consuming that much before, it was just not enough balance in my diet. There are just not many options in this country as far as grocery shopping goes. But, if anyone has any idea for easy recipes, please send them my way.
This last week we went to a training meeting. Everyone who attended will be training next transfer, so I assume because we had to go, Sister Woolf or I will be training. We find out this coming Saturday what is happening next transfer. I'm extremely overwhelmed with that thought. Likely, it could be me because Sister Woolf has been in Linstead for six months now. Anyways, Elder Cornish and President Brown gave the training meeting and it was about how Trainers need to be "perfect" missionaries. He explained that a perfect missionary is simply a missionary who does what they know they should do. I also read this talk given at the MTC some years ago called, "A Consecrated Missionary." In order to be a consecrated missionary, you have to give up yourself to the Lord. You know how certain things can make you feel so good and so bad at the same time? Well that is how the meeting and talk was for me. I felt good, but also guilty. Weird how that works.
We have been slowly finding new investigators. Oh you know, we might have lost all of the old ones we had. Sorry I don't talk about them much, there isn't much to say. We get a new investigator here and there and then they are gone. It's been a struggle, and I don't really like writing about them, because on Monday they are great and then by the middle of the week they've run away. If I wrote about all of them, it would be an endless list of problems they have and things they have to overcome. My favorite investigator was Christina. Oh man, I love that girl. She is great, but I guess she has a lot of things to figure out. She just wasn't ready... YET. Don't worry, everyone will come to the knowledge of the truth. Anyways, we had a few great lessons this week. We talked about the plan of salvation with a lady who recently lost her brother in a shooting. We talked to another lady who used to investigate the church, but stopped. The spirit was felt and it was obviously there. They felt it, now it's their choice about whether they accept it or deny it. Either way, their choice. I'm trying really hard to not let others choices effect my happiness on my mission. It's all up to Heavenly Father. I've just got to keep the faith and trust that Heavenly Father will put people in my path who are ready and prepared.
Okay, Nancy Negative has been taking over this email. But, I want to share some tender mercies that I have seen and felt recently.
1. Bryan, our recent convert is awesome. He always shares the Gospel, and we are getting some referrals from him. He is at the end of Alma in his Book of Mormon reading, and he is so grateful to be a member. He really loves the church and everyone there. He always expresses his love for the members and the love he feels from them. Bryan was ready for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. In fact, he was searching for the truth, he just didn't know where to find it.
2. Sister Clarke, another recent convert to the church verbally expressed her gratitude for Sister Woolf and I during Relief Society. She was so happy that we took the time to talk to her father who was senile and blind. (He recently passed away, and it made me so sad. I loved that old man). She always is glad to see us.
3. Brother Walker, a less active told us that our visits are the best part of the week. He has been coming to church for the past three weeks. He told us that a few years ago he was hungry and had no money for food. He saw a breadfruit really high in the tree, but he is too old to climb up and get it down. He said a prayer and while he was praying the breadfruit dropped from the tree. He said he could barely believe it. Brother Walker is so funny and just tells us stories. We give him short lessons to try to refresh his memory about the church. He looks so excited every time he is at church.
4. Brother Birch (an older man) recently had a stroke. We went to go visit him and his wife this last week and gave her a little message about trials and Heavenly Fathers love for her. She started sobbing and saying over and over again, "Heavenly Father loves me." She grabbed our hands, looked us in the eyes, and thanked us.
Those little moments make it all worth it!
|The Joys of Missionary Work!|
|Anthony Getting Us Coconuts|
|Enjoying Some Coconut Milk!|
|Sister Wolff With a one-legged Rasta Man|