After 7 months in Linstead, the Lord has finally decided to move me. I am going to a little obscure place called Junction, in the parish of St. Elizabeth. Apparently I am going to an extremely rural area, full of country bumpkins! I'm so excited. I will be in a trio with Sister Tominey and Sister Collier. (I think I spelled both of their names wrong). I was praying for a change, but the thought of leaving Linstead is weighing heavy on my heart. I have learned so much here, and have connected with so many wonderful people.
Before I start crying, I will recap this week. It started off extremely rough. I was feeling a bit homesick, I was feeling a bit down on myself as well. Sometimes I get into these little depressing moods, that are really hard to get out of. It got harder because at Zone meeting they were talking about what we need to be doing better, and it made me feel so inadequate. I know those things are there to inspire me to work harder, but I was feeling like the goals that were set were impossible. Man, Satan was really getting me down. I decided to ask for a blessing from Elder Daniels (our District Leader). The blessing was amazing. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Immediately after, I wrote down what I remembered. Here is a small part of my list:
-Heavenly Father loves me.
-He is proud of me.
-He knows what is in my heart.
-He wants me to know that I have made an impact on people here in Linstead.
There was more that was said, and a lot more that was felt, but I am so thankful for the priesthood. I am so grateful for that direct communication from God. After this blessing, my perspective really started to change. Sometimes I just need reassurance that Heavenly Father loves me, even if I know it, it's nice to hear it directly from the source.
I went and said goodbye to Brother Walker the other day. Oh, it was great. He wrote me a poem, I recorded him saying really funny things about me, and he told me that I am now a part of his family. It was all happy until he started to tear up. He hugged me and said that I'm the best missionary in the whole world. I wasn't able to get this old man to come to church, but I was able to have him feel my love.
In this mission, every missionary has a journal that when you leave an area, members and whoever you feel like signs it. It's kind of like a year book idea, minus the pictures. Anyways, I've been having everyone sign it, and I took it to Gobrena to sign. While she was writing a letter to me in it, she started to cry. Oh man, then I started to cry. Then we were just hugging each other and crying. I'm going to miss her so much. Lot's of people have signed it so far, and the things they have written about me has made all the hardships of the last seven months completely worth it. One little girl wrote, "I remember when you helped me write my talk. I will always remember that. I love you." Another person wrote, "Your smile always brightened my day and whenever you are around, I have to laugh at your jokes." Now, I don't say these things to brag or to make myself seem like a great missionary (because I'm not), but I finally feel like this last seven months have been completely worth it. There was so much more written and said to me in the last few days that has touched my heart in so many ways. I am sad to leave Linstead, but I will always come back to this place to see these people. They have left many, "footprints on my heart."
Well, it's time to turn over a new leaf. It's time to work harder, be better, do more. I have learned so much here, now it's time for me to take what I've learned to Junction, and add on to my knowledge. I am excited to start fresh and become a consecrated missionary. I realize now that you can't just expect to be a good or even great missionary all at once, it takes a lot of time and trials to shape you. I realize that I probably won't become the best missionary until the day I leave this mission. Line upon line, precept upon precept.
How grateful I am for this opportunity to serve Heavenly Father and His children. I use to think the phrase, "lose yourself in the work" was cheesy and overused, but as I was reading in Mattew 16:25, "For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it."
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